I’ll admit it: I’ve been guilty of putting someone on the spot. And yes, it strained a relationship.
Here’s what happened. An acquaintance mentioned that they wanted to connect with someone at an organization they were interested in. Without thinking it through, I jumped in: “Oh sure, I’ll introduce you.”
I quickly fired off an email, copying my contact and the person in question. Within hours, I got a reply: “Please do not directly connect me with people.”
Ouch. My ego took a hit. But after some reflection, I realized they were right.
I’ve become a bit desensitized to introductions. In my world, networking has been my lifeblood. Eighteen years in recruitment means I’ve met countless people, hosted endless “pick your brain” conversations, and offered plenty of advice. Some of it has been invaluable, some of it draining.
These days, I’ve learned to be strategic:
- If the introduction is about a potential candidate, client, or otherwise interesting contact or collaborator, I’m always happy to make the time, it’s part of what I love doing.
- For general career advice or other professional guidance, I’m happy to help, but because this falls within my professional expertise, I do charge for that support. Think of it like asking an accountant for tax advice or a lawyer to draft a contract; they wouldn’t do it for free, and that doesn’t make them unfriendly. It’s just the value of their expertise.
Here’s the bigger point: introductions are important. They’ve helped build my business, and I’ll always be grateful. But they need to be handled with care.
If you want to introduce someone, ask first. Don’t add it to your to-do list just to check a box. And definitely don’t put it on someone else’s list without their consent.
The same goes for LinkedIn. Tagging, mentioning, or introducing someone in posts can be great for shout-outs, but don’t use it to pressure someone into taking a stance or making a statement. I’ve been on the receiving end myself, and even when I agreed in principle, it still felt uncomfortable.
Courtesy goes a long way. Instead of tagging, pinging, or nudging in public, make a human connection first. Pick up the phone. Send a quick private message. Ask: “Would you be open to this?”
At the end of the day, networking, introductions, and online shout-outs are all about human connection. They can open doors, spark opportunities, and strengthen relationships, but only when done thoughtfully and intentionally. A little courtesy goes a long way. Ask first, respect people’s time and boundaries, and you’ll not only avoid uncomfortable moments, you’ll also build trust and goodwill that lasts far longer than any quick connection ever could.