Full disclosure: This post was inspired by a beauty pageant. No, seriously.
My husband, who's Filipino, and like many folks in the Filipino community, enjoys a good pageant; had one on in the background the other night. I wasn’t really watching until he turned to me and said, “What kind of stupid question is that?”
The host had just asked the finalists:
“Tell us why you don’t deserve to win.”
And it hit me. That’s the exact same energy as the dreaded job interview classic:
“What’s your biggest weakness?”
Or its more modern cousin:
“What’s something you need to work on?”
This question is meant to prompt a carefully packaged vulnerability. But most people don’t answer it honestly; they just play the game.
They say things like:
➡️ “I work too hard.”
➡️ “I’m too much of a perfectionist.”
➡️ “I care too much.”
It’s not honest. It’s not helpful. And it’s not getting anyone closer to the point of the interview, which is (or should be): Can this person do the job, and will they thrive here?
Let’s be real. Candidates aren’t answering this question authentically because it’s not safe to. They’re being judged. So they pick polished, non-threatening answers that don’t actually tell you anything.
If you're a candidate reading this:
Please don’t try to outsmart the question with a humblebrag. I get it, you're trying to be strategic. You want to seem self-aware without giving them a reason not to hire you. But the better route is to be genuinely reflective. Give an answer that shows growth.
Try something like:
“Early in my career, I struggled with delegation. I felt like I had to do everything myself to prove my value. Over time, I’ve learned how much stronger teams are when we build trust and capacity. It’s still something I watch out for, but I’ve come a long way.”
Or:
“I used to avoid giving difficult feedback. I thought I was sparing people discomfort, but really, I was avoiding my own. I’ve been pushing myself to have those conversations, even when they’re uncomfortable, because they make me and the team better.”
That’s honest. That’s reflective. That’s the kind of person I want to work with.
And if you're an interviewer?
Maybe it’s time to let this question go altogether.
If what you really want to understand is someone’s self-awareness, growth mindset, or emotional intelligence, there are better, more human ways to get there. Try questions like:
- “Tell me about a time you got feedback you didn’t expect. What did you do with it?”
- “What’s something you’ve learned the hard way?”
- “What’s a skill you’ve had to work on intentionally?”
These spark real conversation. They invite storytelling. They open the door to insight. They tell you who the candidate is, not just what they’ve memorized from a job interview playbook.
Bottom line?
Asking people to admit a flaw while under pressure isn’t revealing, it’s performative. Whether you’re on a stage in an evening gown or across the table in an interview, it’s the same dance. And it doesn’t get us anywhere meaningful.
Let’s ask better questions. Let’s have real conversations. And let’s finally retire “What’s your greatest weakness?” for good.